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Theme: Substance abuse
Title: Insight
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“The root of the problem is that you’re just too emotional. It’s nothing I would worry about though. We have a pill for this kind of problem.”
It was easily the strangest thing I had ever heard come out of the mouth of a psychologist in my entire life. I didn’t think that anyone could ever have bee labeled as ‘to emotional’ let alone have a pill prescribed to the symptom. The doctor handed me a small bottle, brown and translucent, filled with little green pills.
“We tested these babies on prison inmates as a means of relaxing their behavior, found out that it made them almost well behaved and put a little research into it. These are not on the market yet, but you could be one of the front runners for the public testing of these bad boys.”
“What do they do?”
“They inhibit emotions, those pesky little buggers that can often get in the way of making even the most obvious decisions, and activate the logical center of the brain.”
“So what? I become like some sort of Vulcan or something?”
“Logically speaking, yes, but no. The drug does not completely inhibit emotion, more so transfers the brain’s focus from emotions to logic. You’ll be able to think clearly, eat less, sleep right, and get in shape. These pills could very well be the first step towards a perfect society.”
Who would have thought that a perfect world would have been obtainable if he had just taken a few moments to stop, and think a little more logically? The pills sounded great, and I didn’t mind being a pioneer on this front, so I wrote in my consent and took home my first prescription.
I was perhaps one in a hundred people who had been asked to participate in this first public test of the drug called Como Logiscinodol or as it would later be known as, Logisill. The instructions are as follows:
- Take just one pill three times per day, make sure to eat a good meal and wash down with a beverage.
- Do not exceed the recommended dosage for any reason whatsoever.
- If strange symptoms begin to develop, contact the doctor who prescribed Como Logiscinodol to you and inform them so they may make notes for further production.
That was it, three steps, easy enough to follow, so that night I took a double dose to get the pills working, ate a full dinner, went about my business and then went to bed.
I would be a liar if I said these things did not work, when they so clearly did. I don’t think I can recall a day better than the one after I received my first prescription. I was already feeling like a champion, ready to take on the world. I didn’t wake up with no emotion, I woke up unwilling to allow emotion to get in the way of tackling the day. While at work I was on top of my game, by 10 I had already created a revised work schedule for myself and increased my efficiency by at least 30%. My friends and co-workers were astounded by my sudden increase in concentration and focus. And when they all asked me what it was, I told them the truth. A magical little green pill and things went on in this direction for months onward. I reported back to my doctor everything I was experiencing and he told me that Logisill would soon be entering into the market as an over the counter drug. I suppose that’s where things went wrong, not just for me, but for countless others. I can’t tell you their stories, I can only tell you mine, however mine was like countless others.
The more Logisill became available, the more I was able to get my hands on it. And the problem is that I had set the bar high while I was using it, and I was no longer able to function without the drug. I was like everyone else in the office who had been taking Logisill, and that simply would not do. I would sit at my desk and tell myself over and over again that I could increase my efficiency a little bit at a time if I increased the dosage just a little bit. There would be fewer emotions to get in the way, more time to see the problems clearly and tackle them with bigger and better solutions. And it would seem that I was not the only person who thought this way. In regards to me and the circle I hung out with, we began to perform small crimes. I would get together with others much like myself, uninterested in emotional solutions, wanting to see things logically, find the real answers, and we would indulge ourselves on Logisill. And the more we began to talk about things and the state of the world around us, the more logical it would seem for us to act against those things, to fix them, to improve not just ourselves, but the world. It started out with public artwork, acts of vandalism. I just couldn’t see the logic behind the need for art. Art produced an emotional response, took people away from things that they ought to have been focusing on. So I did away with whatever I could find. This escalated past artwork to various kinds of stores, clothing stores, jewelry stores, entertainment stores. All of these things were designed to make us love ourselves and others around us. They were an emotional solution to problems that needed to be looked at logically, they had to go. More and more cases like this would make their way to the courts, the abuse of the prescription medication Como Logiscinodol cited as the reason behind every single act. It wasn’t long, probably a few months that the issue of placing the product on the illegal substance list worldwide had come into debate. I was sitting at home coming down from the previous night and watching day time talk shows, an episode about people who abused Logisill was on, and they had a psychiatrist on the show.
“The creators of this product seem to have missed out on one very important thing. Logic is not confined by any one singular universal law. Logic changes from person to person. One person may find something illogical in the methods of someone else’s logic. This is very dangerous and can lead to very extreme states of psychosis. We are talking sociological violence beyond anything we have seen before.”
He was a smart man; there was a lot of logic in his argument.
A few more weeks had passed, and the inevitable had happened, it was the only logical thing for the governments to do, at least in their eyes. They had made Logisill and illegal substance, and it took to the streets by storm. Once again, their emotions got in the way and the problem was made worse. If only they had left it alone, the world could have been such a better place. I found myself buying the stuff two or three times a day, and I was once more telling myself that I was not working to my complete optimum. The dry stuff just didn’t do it anymore. I had grown resistant to Logisill, and had started crushing up the pills into powder and snorting them. And when that had not been enough, I started liquefying the pills and injecting them with needles. That way I was able to see everything logically for several hours, never coming down as long as I had the needles with me. People started ignoring me as I walked down the street, muttering about how everything seemed to be illogical and needed to be fixed. Their ignoring me only made things worse, they needed to hear what I was saying. A few weeks later I was arrested on assault with an illegal narcotic. They caught me forcing a high dose injection into a person. That was the only one the caught me doing. They sentenced me to 10 years prison time, which I could shorten if I had agreed to serve rehabilitative time. I chose the most logical course of action. I went to rehabilitation and that very day fled before I could start to suffer withdrawal. In the privacy of an alley, I pulled a pack of pills in a balloon I had swallowed and took probably, seven to eight of them in one sitting. If I was going to get more Logisill, now called Insight, I needed the best and most efficient solution. And it came almost instantly. A man and his family were walking by and I made my move. The man thought this was nothing more than your average stick up, he moved to protect his wife and child, he was wrong. I grabbed him and through him into the brick wall of the alley and smashed his head in until he stopped moving. His wife was screaming, his child crying. I did not care, they were not the problem, nor the solution, I just took the mans money and took off into the alley. This process would repeat itself several more times and each time it became less and less about the money.
It got to a point where I didn’t just need Insight anymore, I depended on it. It became the driving force behind my actions. Every time I killed a person, I was logically enlightening another. One does not just kill for any reason; there is no logic to that. I killed to live, and I killed to teach. I was a road scholar. I would teach anyone I could set my eyes upon. One person, living off their emotions, clouded, imperfect and non functional would sacrifice themselves so that those around them could leave that life of imperfection. I took my lessons on logic from state to state, gathering Insight as I went along, ridding myself of emotions I did not even have anymore. Dependency was not a need, it was a practice, something I was unwilling to let go of, lest I regress to a state of imperfect, illogical response.
I told them the exact story at my trial. Almost word for word, they would not have any of it. My words promoted fear, so they took the emotional course of action and sentenced me to death. It did not make sense to me, it still doesn’t. I killed to live, are we not all capable of such things? They told me I killed for the drugs, they didn’t see. I was alive, they are all dead, I killed to continue living, I killed so I could stay alive, killed to stay on top, is that not what we are all programmed to do?

